Long Time in the Making

Alright horror fans. It has been a long time coming, but I have officially watched enough horror films in the last few weeks, both old and new, and am ready to give a little review for you.

Well, lets just start off by saying that quite a few of the horror films that I have watched in the last year were hardly more than a waste of my time. However, most of the 8 horror films I had the opportunity to view in the last two weeks have been worth mentioning. I do also believe that many of the bad horror films are still welcome additions to horror culture (considering that most horror films are campy at best), but the type of films I'm looking for only come around every once in a great while. That is why a few of these titles are older than you'd may expect, but great none the less.

Alright, with that side note being said, these are the films that I recently watched: Dead Alive, Feast, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, The Descent Watchers II, Watchers Reborn, Saw 3, and the remake of the Hitcher.

Dead Alive, directed by the recently popular Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings), is out of this world fun. I have seen this movie before, and when I saw it sitting on the shelf at the video store, I couldn't help but review this great gory movie. The story of a man hiding an ever growing family of zombies in his basement is a story that ever person can relate too. OK, maybe not, but it does offer some supremely funny awkward moments, and the most fake blood I have ever seen in any movie period. Check this out for nothing more than the lawnmower wielding finale.

Feast, recently produced by Ben Affleck and Matt Damon for their Project Greenlight series, is also a worthwhile film. From it's misleading introductions of characters, to the gore, to the Night of the Living Dead esque stand-off against strange hungry creatures is sure to have any horror fan on the edge of their seat. Special kudos to the director for the first opening moments (meaning the hero's awesome entrance).

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning is yet another disappointing sequel to the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and I mean the original not the Jessica Biel one from 2003. First of all, I don't care how the family of cannibals got together, or the fact that you know what is going to happen in this film since it's a prequel to the 2003 remake. I also don't care about the family members in the house because the only member anyone cares about is Leatherface. This movie does have great visuals, but other than that, it was a supreme waste of time.

Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer is another film I have seen before. This film is outstanding in its realism, from Henry killing somebody on the side of the Jersey turnpike during rush hour to him teaching his friend how to commit murders, it all adds up to one freaky film. It's low budget also means that the picture is rather grainy, but that also adds to the dark aspect of this film. Truly a scary film.

The Descent, an extreme claustrophobia inducing film, was very effective in its overall finished product. A group of women trapped in an underground cave system populated by carnivorous blind, yet super hearing creatures is entertaining to almost anyone who isn't solely obsessed with the idea that women can't defend themselves. That was the best point of this film, because the women kick some serious ass, until most of them are ripped apart and eaten of course. Worth checking out if you are in the mood for a good gory flick.

Alright, now you can laugh. The Watchers movies, which started in the 1980's with a crappy Corey Haim movie, are always bad. Most of them are produced by Roger Corman, which means low budget, half entertaining scripts sometimes, and OK acting. These films are based on one of my favorite books, Watchers, by Dean Koontz, and I just keep hoping they will equal this book in its suspenseful story. That, however, is never going to happen. Stay far, far away from any of these films, unless you want to laugh.

Saw 3, the next entry into the world of James Wan and Leigh Wannell (they created the first film), and it definitely is trying to capitalise on the already effective formula. This movie is practically the same as the first two, being that people are tortured, tested, and ultimately learn some life lesson due to a maniacal Cancer victim, but it doesn't really improve upon the series what so ever. I enjoyed Angus MacFayden as the person abducted to play in the new game, but other than that, there just isn't enough new additions to keep me interested.

Finally, The Hitcher. I was always a fan of Rutger Hauer in the original 1986 version, and the sole reason I wanted to see this remake was for Sean Bean since he takes over the title role. Sean Bean, recently one of the stars of Lord of the Rings and also the best Bond villain since Goldfinger, was awesome as the psychotic Hitcher whose sole purpose for being is to kill and kill until somebody finally stops him. This film, which as most remakes do, reshaped the original film, and I was pleasantly surprised by the end result.

Well, I apparently have no life, but I do enjoy a good horror film. Now feel free to comment on my analysis of these films, I am always up for an argument, but most of all keep enjoying the films. If you noticed, I tried to give each film at least some good aspects because although a movie may suck, it may still be worth watching. Anyways, have fun until next time gore fans.